Encapsulated

Taking time this morning to express the welling up of angst in my heart, my bereavement, and the painfulness encapsulated within...using 7 words, 17 syllables, a haiku, got me in touch with what I was experiencing when I was dragging my feet about confronting this, heart break.

Well, ok, my heels were dug firmly in the ground!

I admit it.

How wonderful I Am that I made this point of exploring my feelings. For in that act of embracing, I was freed from all my angst. It has been ongoing and great.

I have tried to be such a good sport.

I rode the wave today, it was intoxicating.

Sadness is real, heart break, disappointment are real, and these so called negatives are part of life to be embraced. When accepted rather than denied the muse sings her appointed song, and in that singing, dissolves into ecstacy of finding and embracing the true self.

There is a tendency for people to view sorrowful expressions as disdainful and unacceptable, as negative.

What is negative is criticism of another, judgment..that is all, and self criticism, and unacceptance.

When you find fault, it is in you, a resistance of your own self projected onto another, a sense that you are not acceptable.

Riding the wave for me today came in writing these few words that clued me in to what I had been doing to myself, and I knew how I had been afraid to express my sorrowful heart, for fear of being set at naught, and now I don't care, for I am completely free. ( as Byron Kathy says, "other's opinions are their business")

I know that all criticisms come from the self criticism we carry inside. I want to be free and have everyone free.

Thom once said that I had been through a katrina and The Tsunami, and more, and not to let anyone try to tell me different, that it changes me, and I would never be the same, yet I was only too willing to suppress my expression that would result in freedom for fear of dismissal by others, for far too many people have been harsh with me. Low and behold it is their own harshness with their own selves, being in a state of non acceptance, where freedom can never be found..

This is the small truth that freed me:

My soft heart speared
Unendurable aching
Encapsulated

With these few words, expressions, I saw my whole self, and then I was free. it was the last word that got me, " Encapsulated."